The girls in My Facebook and on my YouTube Channel know I have been dating and I do get a lot of questions about my sex life.
Now I do like to keep some parts of my life private. So this article is written in a general way: no names, no references and no specific guys mentioned in specific situations. Mainly this article is about my experience whit Filipino man, this might differ from yours. After all, love, sex and relationships are about people and characters and preferences. There is no such thing as a fixed answer to all those questions. having that said, I hope you enjoy reading the article.
Let me begin this article with a little story I told my first Filipino lover:
A man walks down the beach, looking for shells. As he does every day. He loves shells. The most common shells he knows already. He has seen them over and over again. But one day his eye catches this different one: color, shape, everything is different about this special shell. And he thinks it is absolutely gorgious, because it is different from all the other shells he has ever found before.
He really appreciates the rarity of what he has found. he cherishes it and holds on to it tight, only to find out in the end: it is just another shell.
And so it is with interracial dating, how rare, special or beautiful your partner may look, in the end he or she is just human.
Making love to a Filipino is no different from making love to any other man
And yet it is. It is in the small details that it is different. It is the pursuing that makes it special, the sweet talk and the making out that makes it different. It is the eagerness to please you that makes it different and the fact that you may find yourself in bed with a very progressive skilled lover that has little boundaries when it comes to experimenting. And as much conservatisme is shown in the streets, that is all forgotten once you are together in private.
I have never had a partner that was so into pleasuring me. For in the end all a guy cares about is to finish his part and reach his climax, with a Filipino lover, although his own orgasm is also very important to him, you, as his partner, are more important.
Maybe you also like: “The difference between Filipino and Western men”
Now I do understand there will be exceptions to the rule. Since I do not sleep around a lot here in the Philippines, I might be in for surprises in the future. I did surprise my first lover when he told me I was his first white woman, that he was my first Filipino. Surprised he asked: but you have been here 10 months already? Yes, and I do not tend to sleep around a lot. And if you are travelling like I am, it is difficult to find a person that you trust enough to take into your bed. yeah, you are always leaving again, he answered.
Now is it true about what they say about…..
About penis sizes, it is said that Asian guys have a small penis. Again, so many man…………so many sizes.
Even in Europe, where I come from, there are man with mini size penises. Maybe the average length of a Filipino penis is just an inch shorter, and maybe some aren’t as thick as in the West.
But to be honest: I do not sleep with a ruler in my hand.
So far I find all the stories about small penises and Asian guys highly exaggerated. Maybe Filipino man, because of their colonial ancestors, are an exception to the Asian penis size pre conceived opinion?
As I travel longer and in more Asian countries and maybe have more Asian bed partners, I might one day fill you in on that matter.
Cultural differences and language barriers between the sheets
Not sure if there are many cultural differences between the sheets. I find it pretty cute that my lover wipes everything clean after sex, he asked for a towel and wiped both mine and his private parts.
About language, no problems there, most Filipinos speak English rather well, and once over their shyness you can communicate very easily. Sex is a universal language, someone said, and that is true. When things get really hot, he might start talking in his own language, since he becomes all emotional, no idea if he is talking dirty, sweet or just jibberish!
The sweet talk is definitely something that comes with the culture as is the eagerness to please.
My making out and having seks here has been more about me than my partner. I sometimes have to push myself to step out of the enjoyment and get a little active in bed myself on his behalf, since they do not seem to have any needs or express them.
They like it when you like it. Something like that.
But again, so many man, so many habits, preferences and differences.
I also met a guy once that was so afraid of touching a woman that sex was more about him than about me. He did not want to kiss, or touch me and all he wanted was for me to satisfy his needs. Needless to say I told him to help himself or visit a ‘lady of pleasure’ and pay for it and kicked him out.
Filipino man tend to be very clean. They smell fresh and show up showered and all dressed up. I like that. No sweaty armpits and no dust of a days work between me and the kisses and the caressing.
That definitely is a culture thing. I have dated Dutch guys that came straight from the farm work, and I knew it by the smell.
White women are easy to get
What I did not like so much in the beginning when I started dating is that Filipino men tend to think white women are easy to get. Now that might be just a way of thinking and not so much a cultural influence.
But it bothered me. I do not know where this idea comes from, and when I ask, I do not get a straight answer.
Maybe it is because we are more used to holiday affairs because we go on holiday every year. And maybe it is because we are more open about sex and specific about what we like or dislike on the subject.
Our straightforwardness on the subject might stimulate Filipino men to think we are easy to get.
Set your own boundaries before you start looking around for a lover or a date.
This whole one night stand thing and travelling will be much easier if you really know yourself.
So how do you find a Filipino lover?
No worries, they find you. Everywhere I go I’m asked about my marital statues even before my name or where I’m from. Specially in the rainy season the marriage proposals seem to rise. I once told a friend of mine: i rate my days in good or bad by the amount of marriage proposals I get. @ proposals is a bad day, good days sometimes count up till 6 proposals.
All with a Filipino smile off course and I once scared the hell out of a guy by accepting on the spot, asking him if we could go to church right away to tie the knot. You should have seen his face. Priceless.
With the Filipino way of thinking they do not care so much about tomorrow or the near future. They do not need to know you well before hitting the sack with you.
For me, I want to know a little about the guy that I probably end up saying good morning to. And I do need to at least kind of feel safe with him. For them to accept my ‘no’ after a serious attempt from their side is difficult.
Pursuing a woman in the Philippines is serious business and losing face also. So a ‘no’, even with a very modern and open Filipino, comes as a hard blow to his machismo ego.
Please do note that PDA (public display of affection) is not a common thing in the Philippines.
And some man do care about their reputation and keep their private life to themselves.
So they will be a kind of secretive about the whole lovers thing. Do not feel offended by that.
After all, you are leaving again and they have to live int heir Barangay and probably find a wife there, so they need to keep up their reputation of not being a sex crazy kind of person.
Sex crazy they are, actually I’m surprised how much this country, that is mostly Roman Catholic, evolves around sex. And also pre marital sex. It is very common for a Filipino man to have a second wife, if he can afford it. And it is well accepted in society.
You will have no problem finding a lover. You will have a problem with trusting the guy, being save and not being talked into something you do not like. For in a country where poverty rules, you are a single female traveller and therefor a potential sugar mammy. Make sure your guy knows the rules: You want to have fun and you move on.
More on how to keep safe while having sex on the road, you may like my article on that subject.