Filipino men can be emotional and passionate. They love to throw drama. Specially when you break up with them.
And messages will continue long after the initial break up.
‘Good morning’, ‘good evening’ and even ‘I miss you’.
Now the first two are innocent and probably easy to avoid, but it is the ‘I miss you” message that holds the danger.
We women like to validate ourselves on those words even if we are the ones that do the breaking up.
Ah….so sweet, he still misses me…….
Maybe we meet up for a coffee and a talk…..yes maybe, or maybe not.
Because what does a man say when he text you he misses you, does he say what you assume, or does he not?
I cannot speak for all men, but I know about human behaviour and I do know men. And although some might genuine miss you, some also might not.
The trouble is to distinguish the good from the bad as in all love matters.
But before I go into the possible meaning of his message, let me say something about your reaction to those 3 words.
When you read into those words that you and your ex might get back together again, think again
Why did you break up with him? What was the reason? Is that reason still valid? If so, do not validate your worth from his ‘I miss you’- message.
If you are ready to move on, because his actions do not backup his words, you have to let go of your ex.
If a man really loves you and wants to be with you he will be. And he will not make up lame excuses about his sick dog, heavy workload, tiredness or the weather conditions not to be with you.
If you broke up with your man because of lack of trust, lack of respect or lack of safety, think twice before you enter that greyish area of ‘trying to get back together only on a I miss you text”
If your ex really misses you, he will move heaven to proof he has changed so you will hopefully change your mind
Why would he send you a text that is confusing you so much?
Because of the confusion he creates, because of his need for drama. Because of his selfish attitude, his hurt feelings and maybe just because, like all Filipino’s, he lives in the moment.
The moment he types that message, he really misses you. That feeling is sincere. But the reason why he text you, might be only to prevent you from moving on.
If he text you ‘I miss you’ and you respond with” I miss you too” or ‘let’s meet up’ he knows he still has you in the pocket.
He is still in control.
And most Filipino men love to be in control, by texting you ‘I miss you’ he plants seeds of hope in your heart.
You Filipino ex texting you ‘I miss you’ today, does not mean he misses you tomorrow
Maybe that was why you broke up with him in the first place, because you got the feeling it was always about him and not so much about you in areas of intimacy and growth in the relationship.
What other reasons can he have for texting you ‘I miss you’?
- he is looking for validation of his ego that you are still thinking about him, when you text him back that you miss him also, he feels good that you are still sad about losing him. You saying you miss him makes him feel more confident.
- he likes keeping you on the side, for casual sex, or for when his new relationship does not work out.
- he knows you, he knows that he will confuse you because you add to much value to his words, he is playing an emotional game with you
- he misses your presence, conversations, hanging out with you, but he does not want you back as his girlfriend
- he wants something from you and that can be anything: sex, money, attention, comfort…and he knows the easiest way to get it is to tell you that he misses you or even that he needs you
Now like I wrote before: i do not know your ex, but an individual that genuine loves another individual and wants to be with her, he will do everything in his power to make that happen.
Inconsistency between words and actions is a sign that cannot be ignored
Remember: you are not a toy, you are a strong proud woman that does not need a man that does not respect you. You have values, if you man does not honor and respect your values, you do good to walk away.
You are not to be manipulated for selfish reasons and you will not allow anyone to do that to you.
For a relationship to work there need to be consistency in both actions and words on both sides. Do not let someone back in your life on pretty words only. You two broke up for a reason. the issues that caused the break up need to be resolved before anything new can start between the two of you.
Talk to me:
Did you break up with your (Filipino) boyfriend? Or did he break up with you?
And how do you handle texting him?